we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I lost the right to judge tonight
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize