please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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