I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
