i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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