I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
