I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
