So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
is that a dick in a sweater?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
