I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
