AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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