Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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