note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
