Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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