Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
