I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
