did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
