I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
