Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
