My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
