dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
