RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
