Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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