You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
