Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
