i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
All I want is dick and wine.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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