Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
