It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
