the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She said her name was "party"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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