he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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