How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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