It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
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