I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
