Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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