is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
