i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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