just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
