When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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