remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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