I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
