it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
