Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize