It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
