I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
