Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
