If that was your dad, he is hot
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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