The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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