Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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