I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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