Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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