it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
