why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
