Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
