Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
