There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize