i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just threw up on my dentist
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
