Kiss
Puke
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
