btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
