can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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