It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize