i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
