Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Found the puke drawer
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
