There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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