You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
