Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You are a genius and a whore.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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