the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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