Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack

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(201): View more from New Jersey

At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."

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(805): View more from California

Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical

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(613): View more from Ontario

Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.

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(614): View more from Ohio

he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.

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(310): View more from California

I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong

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