whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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