I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
