oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
