Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
