STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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