problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
