Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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