And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
