well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
