She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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